Will History Repeat Itself?

This morning I prepared breakfast, lunch and snacks for Will and I. Here’s today’s menu. Breakfast: egg whites, half a slice of cheddar, Canadian bacon on light multigrain English muffin. Snack: apple. Lunch: Pita with turkey breast, alfalfa sprouts, tomato and honey Dijon mustard. Snack: 100 calorie pack raw almonds and a banana. (dinner tonight is Doc’s chili…I’ll let you know tomorrow how that turns out.) In random news, I set off the smoke alarm trying to make asparagus last night. I should probably get my own cooking show soon.

I decided not to bother upsetting myself by going through the whole closet ritual again so I just stuck with Ol’ Faithful. Now, to clarify, I have TWO pairs of gray pants that I alternate out (not that it makes it any better).While getting ready I decided that today would be a good day to give a little background on myself.

I’ve had a weight problem for as long as I can remember. My favorite comeback as a child was “I may be fat, but you’re ugly….and I can lose weight!” (Thank you Uncle Alan) I always hoped that someday I’d grow out of Chunky Town (not to be confused with Funky Town), but that just wasn’t the case. As I grew older, all I ever heard was “You have such a pretty face”. Now, come on people. Why don’t you go ahead and finish that sentence with “but you’re a$$ is HUGE!”

In May of 2005, my life was forever changed. I underwent drastic measures and went under the knife. I had Gastric Bypass Surgery. A lot of people say it’s the “easy way out”. I’m here to tell you it’s not true. Yes, the fat literally fell off but it was still a struggle for me within. Each morning that I woke up, I could see the transformation taking place. When it was all said and done, I’d lost 130 pounds. That’s a whole person! It was such an amazing journey. I thought I’d be a size 6 forever. Well, I’m coming to you live today from a size 12. 

Some people say there’s a skinny person inside just dying to get out…well I’m the opposite. I have a fat girl inside that I can’t seem to shake and that b*tch is hungry!!!!! Some people eat to live. I live to eat. I eat when I’m happy, sad, angry, upset, working, shopping, thinking, breathing….and so on. I’m sure I would eat in my sleep if I could. Bottom line: I LOVE FOOD. The crunchier, crispier, buttier, the better! I can’t even say I’m an emotional eater. I flat out love to eat. Each time I put food in my mouth it’s like a tiny fireworks show going off in my mouth. And I love it.

How do I shake this? Can Jillian Michaels just move in with me and show me the way? If she does move in, will she beat me up? If she says no, should I just kidnap her? Can I be fixed? Will I struggle for the rest of my life? Or, will now be the time that I finally rise above Chunky Town? So many questions unanswered and so many tears that aren’t yet dry.

Today’s blog is a little too “Debbie Downer” for my own taste so I’ve decided to close with the first verse of the rap song that I’m writing for our dog, Greta. She loves it and I hope you will too.

They call her Greta (clap clap)
Cuz that’s her name (claaaap)
She ain’t lookin’ for love boys
She wants fortune and fame

Keepin’ it real,
Fluffy in Frisco